27 July 2010 ~ 0 Comments

How Far is Heaven?

How far is Heaven? I asked myself this many times after my baby died.

A couple months had passed since my baby died…
I was in the kitchen cleaning up the supper dishes and singing.   I love to sing!  :-o

The song I was singing was one I remembered from my childhood. It was on an old 45 record my Dad used to have. The song was written about a little girl who had lost her Daddy and she was asking her Mommy…how far is Heaven?

I do not remember the words to the actual song but I do remember the chorus. I’ve included the video of this song here and at the end of this post.

Tonight I made up my own words.
They went like this…

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26 March 2010 ~ 0 Comments

Celebrating Birthdays? My Child Isn’t Here!

Today the calendar says it’s been another year since our baby died.
Have you experienced that yet?
We have experienced this day 27 times already and wonder where the years have gone?  Sometimes it seems like it happened yesterday.  Other times it seems like a long time ago.

Birthdays are special… a time of celebration… a time of looking into and dreaming of the future and places this child might go.

So how do you celebrate a birthday when your child is not here?
The important thing to decide first is what would make this day special to you?  Do you want to start a family tradition that you will observe every year on this day?

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30 December 2009 ~ 0 Comments

Clouds of Grief and Sunshine Days

Clouds of grief and sunshine days

When clouds of grief come it sometimes seems the sun will never shine again.
Days come and go in this fog of grief and it’s easy to feel out of touch with reality.
It’s almost like you’re living in a daze…

Recently we have been having many many cloudy days… It brought back memories of when my baby died.  Cloudy days were hard.  Crying came very easy and moping around seemed par for the course.  I loved it when the sun shone once again.
It seemed easier to cope with grief when the sun was shining.

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08 October 2009 ~ 0 Comments

Holding On Tight

I read a story recently about a little girl whose name was Jenny.
She saw a cheap string of pearls in a store window and asked her mother if she might buy them.
Her mother told her she could buy them with the birthday money she received from her grandmother.  Since the cost of the string of pearls was more than the money she would receive from her grandmother Jenny needed to earn extra money.

The fact that they weren’t real pearls didn’t matter to Jenny.
She was quite the industrious 5 year old… doing odd jobs for the neighbors and extra chores for her mother.  At last Jenny had saved enough money to buy this beautiful string of pearls.

It was a match made in heaven!
Jenny wore her pearls everywhere, and all the time.

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24 September 2009 ~ 0 Comments

Thoughts of Grandpa Lynn

Today was a sad and happy day…
Today was a day of reflection and memories…
Today was a day of laughter and tears…
Today was the day of my Grandpa Lynn’s funeral…

Grandpa Lynn was 89 years old.  He lived a very active life until the past year when he was in and out of the hospital several times.
Two weeks ago his kidneys stopped working and he knew it was just a matter of time.

We went to see him the day before he died…
We could tell he just wasn’t himself.
Somehow the spark that was always in his eyes just wasn’t there.
Until right before we left…

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