Daddy’s Spot

Daddy’s grieve, too! Sometimes so many focus on the Mother when a child dies Daddy’s may feel left out. When my baby died this happened to my husband. No one intended to leave him out. It just happened.

Daddy’s are very special… They have experienced the death of their child, too! Perhaps they didn’t carry the child for 9 months and feel the connection in the same way as a mother does but Daddy’s have feelings, too!

I have a very soft spot in my heart for Daddy’s because they not only deal with their own grief when no one seems to be paying attention to them but they also deal with their companion’s grief. That can be a lot to deal with!!

Daddy’s….it’s okay to let others know you are grieving!!
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to talk about how you feel. It’s okay to accept the sympathy and understanding others give. It’s okay to express that you are a very important part of the picture.

It has been said the only one who can truly understand what you are going through is your companion. As the parents of your baby you are going through the same thing.

It is important to understand that while you did experience the same thing each person grieves in their own way. You may not feel grief as deeply or as intensely as your wife does. Then again, you might feel it deeper than she does. Everyone grieves differently.

The most important thing to remember is to talk about your feelings. Share with each other heart-to-heart often. This will help you understand her pain and help her to understand your pain.

You may find yourselves going through a rough spot. A time when nothing seems to be going right, when you grouch at each other for no reason, perhaps you just don’t feel connected anymore.
Be aware of this!

Do everything you can to reconnect with each other, to feel that heart-to-heart bond you share. Don’t let your intense grief separate you from each other. It saddens me to know that parents who have experienced the death of a child have the highest divorce rate.

Tips for Daddy’s
1. Choose to share your thoughts and feelings openly so others can support you, too.

2. Choose to be involved in keeping your child’s memory alive.

3. Choose to stay in tune with your companions thoughts and feelings and share heart-to-heart.

4. Recognize and understand that everyone grieves differently.

5. Support each other by being consciously aware of first time occasions that may be very difficult for both of you.

6. Be active in your leadership as you grieve…find creative ways to express your grief that make the memory of your child more meaningful to both of you.

7. Give yourself permission to grieve. Give yourself time to grieve. Give your companion the same gift…permission and time.

Sometimes it is very helpful to talk with others who have experienced something similar to what you are going through. Remember that suffering is optional! It is okay to accept support and comfort. You do not have to suffer alone or suffer in silence.

Do not hesitate to call for a consultation @ 765-379-3722.  Click here to sign up.
I welcome your emails and will respond as quickly as possible.
Email: susan@GoodGriefandYou.com or susan.holsinger@gmail.com

With compassion and love for your grieving heart,
Susan

Be Sociable, Share!