I Should Be There

Do you ever think about missed opportunities?  Things you want to do but for whatever reason you know it’s not going to happen right now.  Many times things that happened in the past make us sad and we grieve over what might have been… and we grieve over what should have been… and we grieve over what could yet be in the future we cannot see…
My friend Esther expressed a few thoughts beautifully in her poem “Back To Me”.  Esther was a young girl of 14 when she and all her brothers and sisters were taken from their home and their parents to be separated in the foster care system.  Esther did not understand what was happening and still grieves over it today.  Some of her brothers and sisters were legally adopted and she doesn’t know where they are.  She was thinking of them when she wrote this poem.
Back To Me
Esther Joy Pritchard
I should be there to watch you grow up…
I should be there to hold you when you’re sad…
But I don’t even know where you are…
And I miss the times that we had…I should be there to watch you succeed…
I wish I could be there cheering you on…
But I don’t even know where you are…
And it hurts so much that you’re gone…I should be there when you need a friend…
I wish I could tell you I love you…
But I don’t even know where you are…
Or what it is you’re going through…My heart hasn’t ceased to bleed…
Ever since they took you away from me…
And my heart hasn’t ceased to cry…
Ever since the day we had to say goodbye…

I hope you know how much I love you!
No matter what we’re going through.
And for now I’ll just hope and pray…
That you’ll find your way back to me someday!
Death isn’t the only thing that causes us to grieve.
Sometimes grief is like this poem describes… an open wound that is very challenging to heal because the hurt just keeps happening.  There is no closure in some situations and it just seems we get stuck in our grief and seem powerless to move forward.
Esther took action!  She expressed her grief in this poem.  She expressed her hope.  She expressed her love.  For now…it is enough; even though she wants a much different outcome.
You CAN do this…. you CAN get through the grief that’s happening in your life.  What action will you take that will help you move forward through the grieving process?  Writing a poem?  Writing in a journal?  Sharing your heart with a friend?  Having a good cry?!
My thoughts are with you…
With Love and Compassion,
Susan Holsinger
Ps.  A favorite song of mine sang so beautifully!  Click here to listen.
Posted Sept. 8, 2009
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2 Responses to “I Should Be There”

  1. Susan 14 September 2009 at 9:27 am Permalink

    Dear Julie,
    Esther is very special to us… Ever since we learned to know her and the situation we have prayed for your family. It is hard for us to understand everything that happened and know that it is only by God’s grace, love, and forgiveness that you can even go on! We are thankful you have kept the faith and not become bitter against God in all this. Our prayer has been and still is that God would grant 100% restoration to your family… We do not know exactly what this might look like considering everything that has happened. One thing we can pray is your family be united where it counts the most… in heaven!!
    Until that glad day…
    With Love, Prayers and Compassion,
    Susan

  2. Julie Phillips 12 September 2009 at 4:08 pm Permalink

    Hi! I am Esther’s Mom. She is experiencing such grief over the loss of her brothers and sisters. I am glad she is still trying to reach out to them. I guess you can imagine the grief I feel over the loss of my children. Esther is able to be with us now, and that is very healing for me and hopefully for her, too. All I can say in a situation like this is that GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!! He CAN get us through this, and make us a better person because of our suffering. Please pray for our family that we will be able to be reunited soon.


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